Epic Fail…

This post is very hard for me to write but I need to be honest.  Our $100 food budget exploded this week.  And it's not what you think.  I didn't even spend it on natural foods!  I've come to realize this challenge is more than just buying $100 in natural foods a week.  This is about overcoming an addiction called crap.  Yep, crap.  You know stuff like Velvetta "cheese", Taco Bell, Dr. Pepper, and the list goes on.  Unfortenatly I can't say I did it this week.  When those temptations came I ran to them instead of running away.  If I would have stuck to our meal ideas we could have done the $100 natural food challenge.  I started to pray and search my heart to see why I'm leading not only myself astray but our family. Am I just being lazy?  Am I fearful of change?  It's so much easier to just run to things that comfort me instead of facing fears head on and running to God.  I think it all boils down to I'm scared of change. 

My spirit wants to give up these food idols and grow closer to God.  My flesh wants to keep things the way they are.  I don't want to have to depend on Him, and I know that's an oxymoron because by just breathing I'm relying on Him!  I didn't say this was the rational side of my brain.  This is something that has to change.  I know God made me to seek comfort but that's supposed to come from the Holy Spirit and not food.  I'm going to try again.  I may fail but I can never reach success if I don't try.  This time one thing will be different though.  This time I'm going to ask for the Father's help.  I'm not going to change myself.  I'm going to let the Holy Spirit do that.  Right now I'm going to run to the cross and ask for forgiveness.  I'm going to recieve it through the blood that Jesus shed for me.  I'm going to get up and move forward knowing I'm made rightous through Him and Him alone.

If you have any encouragment, advice, or scriptures please leave them for me.  They will be much appreciated.


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