Worthiness

Do I believe I’m worthy of success in my business?  In my family life?  In my marriage?  In my relationship with Christ?

Let me be completely honest and vulnerable right now.  The answer to the above questions when I look deep and search my heart are no.  I don’t truly believe I’m worthy of those things.  Oh, I may have a high self esteem, but that’s not the same.  I know that I’m worthy because of Christ, but do I really BELIEVE it?  No.  If I believed it I would act differently.

Earlier today I watched a video that my Plexus up line posted for our team that got me thinking about this.  In the video Jennifer talked about how our mindset of our worthiness effects our success in every area of our lives.  She made the suggestion of using positive affirmations and reading them out loud to yourself daily.  I was fine with all the suggested affirmations until she got to, “I deserve success.”  My immediate thought was, “That’s ridiculous to say because I don’t deserve it.  I’m not organized enough; I need to work harder; My body isn’t healthy enough; I don’t have the wisdom; etc.”

Here’s the truth.  I didn’t deserve anything on my own, BUT GOD.  God choose me.  He provided a way through Christ so that I am worthy.  Go read Ephesians 1:3-14.  I guess it’s time to add some of those affirmations to my list after all and change my mindset!  Who’s with me?

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Healed

Meet our family.

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We like to have fun.  In the past it was hard because we had to constantly be thinking about food.  Our youngest, Eli, and I both had gluten intolerance.  I had very mild reactions to it most of the time, but Eli’s were very violent.  Let me tell you a little background history.  When he was a newborn he was very colicky.  He didn’t sleep well and was always crying.  Even though he was growing well we were advised that maybe I wasn’t providing enough milk for him and added formula to his diet around 2 months old.  (Now we know it was that I was eating gluten and it transfers through breast milk).  Once we started giving him formula (Similac was all he could use, which we now know to be gluten free) he quit nursing.  He was a great happy smiling little guy for a few months.

Then around his first birthday he starting throwing tantrums.  He had violent mood swings.  He began to pull away from us.  We felt like we were losing our sweet little happy guy to the unknown.  Many people told us it was normal.  We knew it wasn’t.  Having to restrain your toddler because his tantrums are so violent that he will hurt himself or someone else is not normal.  Having a toddler that would go off on an hour long violent screaming the whole time tantrum because he had to eat dinner before playing with friends wasn’t normal.  Having a toddler who didn’t look at you or care to speak wasn’t normal.  Nothing explained it.  He had days where it was worse and it was never at the same time of the day or even certain situations that set him off.  We didn’t leave the house because we never knew when he’d go off.  Strangers told me to spank him because of his fits in the grocery store.  It wasn’t that he wasn’t disciplined because he was.  We tried many forms of discipline.  Friends gave us advice and books they thought would help.  Nothing helped.  So, at the end of our rope we prayed (Yes, this should have been the first thing we did!!).  We prayed for wisdom and strength.  We prayed for God to lead us to the answer to help our little guy.

At this point I was eating gluten free because I had come to realize after having some medical problems that I was gluten intolerant, so I belonged to a group that sent out gluten free recipes and articles about celiac disease.  The day after Scott and I prayed together I received an email with an article about symptoms of celiac in children.  Eli had almost all of them.  When Scott got home I showed him the article and we decided to put Eli on a gluten free diet as a test.  Within 3 days he was a completely different child.  He was happy, sleeping well, and full of life.  Needless to say we were so grateful that God had lead us to this answer, but for the past 2 1/2 years we have lived in fear of gluten.  We went to very few restaurants.  We didn’t have anything in the house with gluten except Scott’s bread, which had it’s own cabinet.  We had to ask what was in everything when we ate at friends houses or church dinner.  We were a pain to deal with.  Anytime he received it by accident he would have typically a physical immediate reaction and an emotional reaction for the following three or four days.  It was a nightmare when he got it.

Well, that all has changed.  Last night at our church family meeting the elders laid hands on us and prayed for healing.

“Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord.”  -James 5:14 says

Afterward we ate it in faith that we were healed.  Eli ate a gluten filled cookie.  No reaction.  Then we went out and had chicken for dinner, the wheat filled breaded kind, no reaction.  Today he had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on whole wheat bread, no reaction.

Today we are HEALEDThe Lord healed us.

HEALED!

Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed;
save me, and I shall be saved,
for you are my praise.

-Jeremiah 17:14

But Then

I thought having my alone time with God would help start my day off on the right foot. I tried it but my boys have what I like to call "mommy sense".  As soon as I'm up they're up.  It doesn't matter if it's 6:00 am or 9:00 am.  I've really been beating myself up lately over not having quiet times with God.  Why can't I get my act together?  I shouldn't be falling asleep when I'm trying to pray or read at night after everyone is asleep.  Who needs the enemy when I can beat myself up so well?  But then……..

Don't you just love those words?  But then.  It's beautiful.  I was beating myself up over this but then the Holy Spirt spoke to my heart.  It started with a chapter I read in a book about perfection.  Perfection?  Not me.  Never.  Yeah, right!  I wasn't reading or praying because I was being a perfectionist about it!  If I couldn't have 30 minutes then I didn't do it. 

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

Ouch, conviction hurts.  This has to be an all day, everyday thing and that's what it will be.  It won't be easy but 2 Corinthians 12:9 sums it up well, But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 

 

Psalm 113

Praise the Lord!
Praise, O servants of the Lord,
praise the name of the Lord!

Blessed be the name of the Lord
from this time forth and forevermore!
From the rising of the sun to its setting,
the name of the Lord is to be praised!

The Lord is high above all nations,
and his glory above the heavens!
Who is like the Lord our God,
who is seated on high,
who looks far down
on the heavens and the earth?
He raises the poor from the dust
and lifts the needy from the ash heap,
to make them sit with princes,
with the princes of his people.
He gives the barren woman a home,
making her the joyous mother of children.
Praise the Lord!

Epic Fail…

This post is very hard for me to write but I need to be honest.  Our $100 food budget exploded this week.  And it's not what you think.  I didn't even spend it on natural foods!  I've come to realize this challenge is more than just buying $100 in natural foods a week.  This is about overcoming an addiction called crap.  Yep, crap.  You know stuff like Velvetta "cheese", Taco Bell, Dr. Pepper, and the list goes on.  Unfortenatly I can't say I did it this week.  When those temptations came I ran to them instead of running away.  If I would have stuck to our meal ideas we could have done the $100 natural food challenge.  I started to pray and search my heart to see why I'm leading not only myself astray but our family. Am I just being lazy?  Am I fearful of change?  It's so much easier to just run to things that comfort me instead of facing fears head on and running to God.  I think it all boils down to I'm scared of change. 

My spirit wants to give up these food idols and grow closer to God.  My flesh wants to keep things the way they are.  I don't want to have to depend on Him, and I know that's an oxymoron because by just breathing I'm relying on Him!  I didn't say this was the rational side of my brain.  This is something that has to change.  I know God made me to seek comfort but that's supposed to come from the Holy Spirit and not food.  I'm going to try again.  I may fail but I can never reach success if I don't try.  This time one thing will be different though.  This time I'm going to ask for the Father's help.  I'm not going to change myself.  I'm going to let the Holy Spirit do that.  Right now I'm going to run to the cross and ask for forgiveness.  I'm going to recieve it through the blood that Jesus shed for me.  I'm going to get up and move forward knowing I'm made rightous through Him and Him alone.

If you have any encouragment, advice, or scriptures please leave them for me.  They will be much appreciated.

How Can I Get Peace?

And the effect of righteousness will be peace, and the result of righteousness, quietness and trust forever. – Isaiah 32: 17

As a mother and wife my goal is to make our home a place of peace and rest for our family and any guests as well.  Sometimes I forget that it's not going to be achieved by me alone no matter how much cleaning, cooking or organizing I do.  2 Corinthians 5: 21 says, "For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God."  Did you catch that?  We can become the righteousness of God through Jesus!  Isn't that amazing?  Jesus came and died to give us life.  Because of him we have peace.  If we make our life in Jesus we will have peace no matter what storms life brings us.  Am I saying you'll never be sick or hurt?  Absolutely not but you can have peace in trusting God.  He is sovereign and good.  Everything will work out to for his glory.  We have to cling onto that will all our heart even when we're scared.  When we don't understand the things that are happening we have to put our trust forever in the Lord. 

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

Cling to that promise.

Giving your life to God isn't all roses.  There will be hard times but you are not alone.  The Holy Spirit is right there leading, guiding, and comforting you.  Once you let God in you'll never be the same.  You will be different and that shows most during the trying times.  You usually learn the most about yourself and what needs to change in those trying times.  Just remember in Christ we can be the righteousness of God and the effect of righteousness will be peace, and the result of righteousness, quietness and trust forever.  All you have to do is give your life to God.  Let it be sincere.  You're never too jacked up for Jesus to come in.  Now, go get plugged into a good gospel centered church.  If you are in the St. Louis area try Red Tree, Mineral Area try The Bridge, and if you're in the Indianapolis area come visit us at Redemption Hill.  If you live in another area please feel free to send me an email and I'll help get you connected.

Have a wonderful weekend and let's remember that this weekend is to celebrate the gift that was given to us through Christ, not bunnies and baskets.